No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
