This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
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I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
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There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Pooping to opera.
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