He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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