Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
