Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.

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(256): View more from Alabama

So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.

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(365): View more from

James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much

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(679): View more from Michigan

My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..

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(703): View more from Virginia

He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.

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