it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
