I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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