The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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