Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
