I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
