I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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