yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
