clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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