The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
