I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
