and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
