I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
