Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
