wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
