It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
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Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
