Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.