You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
