Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(818): View more from California

she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(818): she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick http://tfl.nu/e1f8

Replies (12) Good night (937) Bad night (4205)
Favorite
(707): View more from California

I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(707): I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever http://tfl.nu/38jn

Replies (51) Good night (6564) Bad night (762)
Favorite
(336): View more from North Carolina

he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(336): he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater. http://tfl.nu/8ycg

Replies (3) Good night (3403) Bad night (1031)
Favorite
(626): View more from California

It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(626): It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/eowy

Replies (17) Good night (6804) Bad night (935)
Favorite
(520): View more from Arizona

He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(520): He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time. http://tfl.nu/4xv6

Replies (7) Good night (1874) Bad night (1374)
Favorite
(573): View more from Missouri

Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(573): Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI. http://tfl.nu/6uwa

Replies (12) Good night (1674) Bad night (796)
Favorite
(770): View more from Georgia

you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.

(678): View more from Georgia

THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(770): you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why. (678): THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH. http://tfl.nu/cex4

Replies (18) Good night (3070) Bad night (777)
Favorite
(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(336): I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs. http://tfl.nu/p7wi

Replies (5) Good night (2116) Bad night (512)
Favorite
(604): View more from British Columbia

You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(604): You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches http://tfl.nu/88ib

Replies (4) Good night (741) Bad night (1354)
Favorite
(662): View more from Mississippi

What if our hands were octopus tentacles?

(1-662): View more from Mississippi

You're an idiot.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(662): What if our hands were octopus tentacles? (1-662): You're an idiot. http://tfl.nu/2n3l

Replies (17) Good night (2394) Bad night (724)
Favorite
(805): View more from California

not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(805): not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone http://tfl.nu/iull

Replies (1) Good night (772) Bad night (318)
Favorite
(318): View more from Louisiana

I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(318): I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna. http://tfl.nu/hik5

Replies (4) Good night (1384) Bad night (420)
Favorite
(780): View more from Alberta, CA

It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(780): It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk http://tfl.nu/34yj

Replies (8) Good night (908) Bad night (415)
Favorite
(817): View more from Texas

Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(817): Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn" http://tfl.nu/96q8

Replies (3) Good night (707) Bad night (347)
Favorite
(262): View more from Wisconsin

Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(262): Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly. (215): I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life. http://tfl.nu/r8y6

Replies (6) Good night (1515) Bad night (302)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: