I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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