you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
