She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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