Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
