: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
