im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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