I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
