Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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