i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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