I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
