Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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