I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
