To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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