my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
