Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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