apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
