We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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