the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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