so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
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Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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