Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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