It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
