Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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