I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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