It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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