i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
