I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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