I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
