and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
how does that bad decision feel?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
