I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I deserve this hangover.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
