Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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