Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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