GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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