it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
false alarm. still invincible.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
