You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
