Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
