I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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