they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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