just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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