Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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