I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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