Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize