Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
