Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
