is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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