Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
