when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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