That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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