Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
