Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
