I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
